Life With Children

Now, I am not denying that every time I go shopping with all four of my children I look like a three ringed circus, but today was even more of a side show than normal. Dan was at work and we were down to having no milk or bread in the house. I stared in the cupboards wondering if I could feed the kids peanut butter out of the jar and consider it a healthy meal. After putting off the inevitable I loaded up all of the kids to go on a quick trip to the Piggly Wiggly for some groceries. Now I have to give you a little background. Almost every time I go to the store I get a comment on how hard it is to have twins. You see my boys are only 16 months apart and D tries his hardest to act just like Joey. This time was no different. It started out with a woman asking me, "Are all of those kids yours?" "Yes, I replied." "Those must be twins", she says. I correct her and told her, "No, they are just close in age". She gave me an a sympathetic look and said, "You must be an angel." I just laughed but knew inside I was not an angel but at times I considered myself just plain crazy!

So every time I go to the store I try to get all the kids set up ahead of time. I searched desperately for a cart that was also a race car so that two could sit in that. Scarlet was in her car seat in the cart, the two boys were in the car and Savannah was already crying because it wasn't fair that she had no where to sit. So, I put Savannah in the cart to appease her for a little while. As I started down the isle I wondered where I would put the groceries.

First thing, the boys started fighting. Over what, I have no idea. But they were pushing and screaming each other over something. At this point someone else came up to me and made some comment about how hard it was to have multiples. I politely corrected them and said, "O no, they aren't twins. They are just close in age." They looked at me no longer sympathetically but like I was a lunatic! All the while the boys are still fighting. So I rearrange the kids. I move Savannah to the car, D to the seat in the cart and Scarlet in the basket. Maybe this would work. It lasted for only a few minutes before Savannah and Joey started in. So, I decide to let the kids scream I am going to just run down the isle and throw stuff in to the cart and get out of here as soon as possible. All the while I am saying those all so familiar comments, "Keep your hands to yourself!" "Don't pull your sisters hair!" "Let go of him!" "You are going to be in huge trouble when you get home if you don't knock it off!" "I am serious, you obey!" I am trying desperately to look like I have it together but it is failing miserably!

I finally make it to the checkout counter. I smile at the teller and try to act civilized and polite. My threatening comments to the kids turn to pleas. "Will you please sit down and be quite." "Please don't do that." Another person comes up behind us and makes yet another comment about twins. I have decided it is better to get their sympathy about having twins than to correct them. So, I look directly at them and say, "Yes, It really is." At this point Savannah and Joey break out into a full fledged fight. Pushing each other in the car as hard as they can all the while doing that screaming cry. I slowly look around and notice that everyone at the check out counters are all looking my way. I think to myself, "They can't all be looking at me can they?" "O my goodness, they are all staring at me." I am mortified. I try to stop the fighting but I want to get out of there so I am trying to get my groceries paid for at the same time. I start apologizing to the teller. "I am so sorry!" She just looks at me. I finally have everything paid for. I am ready to book it out of there. I look up and almost everyone from every check out line is staring at me. I just look at them wondering if I should just duck my head and get out of there or if I should say something. So, I decide to not be a coward and take responsibility for my children. I look at everyone and yell, "Sorry everyone, I am leaving! Hopefully you can hear yourselves think now." I don't know if it helped at all, but I tried.

I calmly got all the kids in the car and started driving away before I started into the kids. "What an embarrassing disgrace! You are all going home and gong straight to your rooms. I want to beat you all for how you were acting. If you ever act like that again.......I swear". This went on the whole way home. The kids were all sent to their rooms crying and as a unpacked the groceries, I realized I had forgotten the bread!